The Problem of Violence (2): The Breakdown of Discipline
December 2, 2007
by Harry Osborne

What can we do about the problem of violence, so prevalent in our society, involving young people? As we noted in the previous article in this series, God commands us to be a "peaceable" people. But how do we get there from here? We want to begin addressing that question in this article by discussing the principles that lie at the root cause of our trouble in this society. Some of the points made in this series were originally penned for a weekly column I wrote for the local newspaper in Alvin, Texas. At that time, I was trying to address a problem of gang violence in local schools. However, in my travels, I saw the same rising problems across our country.

Various psychologists and sociologists have given a wide range of causes for the growing problem of violence among young people. Some say children are conditioned to be violent by toy guns, but they forget that children of past generations spent more time playing "war games" with toy guns without being afflicted by an epidemic of violence. Others suggest it is a response to poverty, but they overlook the fact that Depression-era youths did not have high rates of violence despite the fact that the poverty present then was far deeper and more widespread than the poverty we see in our society today. The attempted explanations do not adequately address our present problem.

What has changed over the past few generations that helps to explain why we have such high levels of violence among youths? I believe we can find one of the main contributing factors when we see the breakdown of discipline that has occurred in our society over the past few decades. In the absence of discipline, we have been faced with increasingly devastating effects. As the prophet of old said, "They sow the wind and reap the whirlwind" (Hosea 8:7). Actions have consequences!

The rapid increase of our problem coincided with increasingly lax discipline within many homes. Once lax discipline in the home was the norm, efforts were advanced to restrict and ultimately banish it within our schools. Finally, the full effect has been seen in our society at large as our courts make a joke out of the punishment of criminals. When undisciplined young people see no negative consequences to wrong, can we really be surprised when they engage in increasingly serious violations of the law? Where discipline decreases, disorder will increase.

Discipline in the Home
Though discipline can and should be reinforced by schools and courts, that is not the place where discipline should be learned. It is the primary responsibility of parents to teach respect for authority through the exercise of discipline within the home. Parents cannot abdicate their responsibility to teachers or judges. It just will not work! God set His plan in place for order by requiring parents to teach their own children and to enforce that teaching with proper discipline. When that discipline is not taught early in life, the most effective opportunity to instill it is missed.

Some automatically equate calls for discipline with promoting the abuse of children. However, nothing could be farther from the truth! The Bible teaches the highest standard of parental love ever declared as well as teaching the necessity of discipline within that relationship. Proper discipline is not a violation of the love commanded, but a necessary component of it. Parents who do not properly discipline their children and teach them a respect for authority are actually the ones who show no love towards their children.

Notice the connection of love with the chastening and correction that are a part of proper discipline as commanded in the Bible:

Proverbs 13:24 - "He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly."

Proverbs 19:18 - "Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction."

Proverbs 22:15 - "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him."

Proverbs 23:13-14 - "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death."

Proverbs 29:15 - "The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother."

Though some characterize the correction taught in the Bible as "abuse," it is exactly the opposite. When a parent swats a child for putting a hand towards the oven burner, is that abuse or an act of love? When a parent spanks a toddler for wandering into the street trying to spare the child the injuries or possible death that might come from being hit by a car, is that abuse or an act of love? Clearly, such discipline is not abusive at all - it is loving!

The same thing applies to discipline aimed at teaching the child respect for proper authority that may spare the child from tragic consequences throughout life. Many life-altering bad habits start with behavior that could have been corrected much easier at an early stage. Temper tantrums in a child will set a habit of wrath in the heart if such actions are not punished from the very first manifestation. A child who exhibits an explosive anger needs to be corrected to control that anger or it will only become more explosive in years to come with increasingly devastating effects. A loving parent will practice proper discipline to teach a child about proper conduct and respect for authority.

That does not condone abusive rage wherein a parent's temper is vented upon a child. The Bible condemns parental action that provokes a child to wrath rather than correcting the child (Eph. 6:4). When discipline is exercised by a parent acting out of wrath, a pattern of rage is instilled in a child rather than being expelled by proper discipline. Proper discipline is instructive, not vengeful. It seeks correction of the child, not exaltation or vindication of self.

If we are ever going to solve the problem of youthful violence, we must restore discipline to our society. In order to succeed in that effort, parents must restore discipline within the home. Though some children will abandon proper parental training to become involved in violence, most unruly youths are the result of a lack of discipline as taught in God's word (Prov. 22:6). As Christians, we must determine to let our homes be an example of the solution rather than a demonstration of the problem.

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