Does Character Matter or Not?
March 16, 2008
by Harry Osborne

Over the past week, we have witnessed yet another case of a political figure caught in illicit sexual conduct. After the acceptance of the infidelity and subsequent perjury of a former President, I was frankly shocked at the Governor of New York's quick demise. One need only look at Congress to see a sordid collection of elected officials continuing in leadership positions despite their guilt in an assortment of sexual scandals and crimes. I remain mystified at the difference between the outcome in this case and those over the past fifteen or so years.

Listening to the "experts" on the television news shows did not help me find the answer. Since I have been down with the flu for the past week, I have heard the pundits trying to psychoanalyze the reason for the Governor's adulterous conduct. Some thought he was self-loathing and seeking to get caught so he would get the punishment his psyche needed, hence, he quickly resigned. Others thought it was a result of megalomania wherein his self-obsession evidenced a pride repugnant to the public, hence, he had to go. Still others speculated that had he been a sociopath, devoid of conscience, and merely denied wrongdoing despite all evidence, he probably could have remained in office. One even suggested the Governor's wife bore responsibility for not providing sufficient comfort to keep him from seeking acceptance elsewhere. Give me strength! Regardless of the conscious or unconscious reasons for the actions, it was still adultery.

Our nation has repeatedly elected and even re-elected candidates involved in sexually perverse conduct of every form. Can someone explain to me the logic of why it is intolerable for one to do the same thing in a Washington hotel that was deemed acceptable in a Georgetown townhouse, an airport restroom or even the Oval Office of the White House? No, because the inconsistency is blatantly obvious! When a society loses its moral foundation, it will evidence ever-changing morays until all semblance of decency is thrown to the wind. While I do not rejoice at the situation that brings this back to our nation's focus, I hope some good will come from it by our return to a fundamental truth -- character does matter!

There is no true and profitable leadership possible in the absence of character. At its core, true and profitable leadership is only possible where trust exists. We cannot trust someone who exhibits dishonesty in basic relationships and dealings of life. One's commitment to marital fidelity is among the most basic measures of one's character. If a man will lie to his wife and family, he will have no compunction against lying to anyone else!

The overwhelming evidence from studies regarding drug abuse, crime, violence, homelessness and poverty suggests that a common factor is the leading cause for all of them - the breakup of the family. Furthermore, studies regarding the breakup of the family show that marital infidelity, or adultery, is present in the majority of those marriages that end in divorce. Those studies merely expose the obvious. We see the same thing around us every day at work or school -- in civic and sports venues or in the neighborhood. The American family is in deep trouble and has been for some time. What has gone wrong?

In every wedding ceremony I have preformed, both the man and the woman made vows that promised, "FORSAKING ALL OTHERS, I will keep myself for you and you alone until death severs the tie that binds." If you are married, do you remember taking a vow like that? That was a lifelong commitment! It was a solemn promise. To betray it would make one a liar. Breaking that commitment of fidelity in adultery not only makes one a liar to the spouse and to the people before whom the promise was made at the wedding, but also before God. He was not only a witness to the promise, but the One who bound the two by law in a life-long covenant of marriage (Matthew 19:6). God demands that vows made before him be kept. Notice what He says, "If a man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by some agreement, he shall not break his word; he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth" (Numbers 30:2). The following verses show a woman has the same obligation.
Regarding the commitment of marriage, does God really expect and demand lifelong fidelity? Some tell us that such is only an outdated custom of man. However, the word of God is very plain concerning this matter:

"Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4). That makes it pretty plain. God will not tolerate adultery in any form. Even the common practice of divorce and remarriage does not give one the right to another sexual union in God's eyes. Here is how He views the practice:

"For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man" (Romans 7:2-3).

God does not even approve of sexual relations with a second person if we divorce the first mate and marry the second. It is still called "adultery" by God. Why? Because He views seriously our lifelong commitment made in the first marriage and He will hold us responsible for it. The only exception permitted by God for divorce and remarriage shows again His disdain for adultery:

Jesus declared, "And I say to you, whoever puts away his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is put away commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9). God only grants the innocent party the lawful right to go away from a first marriage with a right to marry another. Why? Because the sexual immorality of the guilty fornicator is an assault upon the essential trust that underlies the most basic element of society -- marriage. God's abhorrence for infidelity as an intolerable breech of trust and morality is confirmed in the Old Testament as well (Jeremiah 3; Ezekiel 23; Hosea 1-5).

Adultery is not a trivial matter! It shows a terrible problem in one's character regarding a betrayal of one's spouse, one's commitment and the God of heaven. It has tragic and far-reaching consequences. We must not view adultery as a thing to be taken lightly or something about which we laugh.

Instead, let us regain the respect for marriage and its commitments, thus, laying the groundwork for marriages that are severed only by death. The God who is witness to our actions demands such trustworthiness to our vows. God meant for man to honor as the rule that marriage is for life. It is a curse to our society that what God intended as the rule has become a rare exception in our country. Worse yet, God's rule is becoming less evident even among His children. Brethren, let us show in our conduct and instill in our children a deep respect for lifelong fidelity in marriage!

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