Marriage is a serious matter. In fact, marriage is for life. It is permanent (Matt. 19:3-6). Most today who enter marriage don't have a clue how serious it really is. I know that those of the world talk about how important marriage is and how serious it should be taken. However, not many view it from the standpoint of the impact on your soul. If marriage ends before death, then someone has sinned (either the husband or wife or both).

We have all witnessed a marriage ceremony wherein a couple vow that they will stay together till death parts them. They pledge and promise to maintain the marriage. How many of those have we seen end within a few short years?

On the other hand, many marriages stay together. The couple never think of splitting up or even mentioning divorce. However, the marriage may not be what it ought to be. There may be years of unhappiness or to say the least many hours of frustration. These problems can possibly be prevented by asking a few questions before marriage.

To ask these questions requires honesty in answering them. To honestly answer these questions and then follow the wisdom that such answers demand will help insure years of happiness.

Let's consider a sampling of the kind of questions one should ask. Obviously, this list is not exhaustive, but give a person a sense of direction. You may think of more that need to be added to the list.

1. Does this person truely fear God? This is far more than being baptized and going to church all the time. The fear of God involves being afraid of displeasing God (Heb. 10:31; 12:29). In also involves having a deep awe and reverence for God (Luke 7:16; Jonah 1:9). Those who fear will want to do just what God says no matter what the consequences are (Gen. 22:12).

2. Will this person teach our children to fear God? What if he/she taught the our children to be just like he/she is. Would that be alright with me? Would the children be walking in the fear of God?

3. Will this person help make me a stronger spiritual person? Or, will the spiritual strength of the family rest on my shoulders?

4. What kind of home life does this person come from? We are not suggesting that everyone who comes from a poor family life needs to be marked off the list of those who could marry. The point is that we often become just like the families we grew up on. The older we get we sometimes become more and more like the parents (or parent) who raised us. Does this person come from a home where respect is shown for God? Does this person come from a home where there is respect for one another? Does this person come from a home that is utter chaos? What if your home turns out to be just like the home he/she comes from? Would that be okay?

5. What is his/her concept of a husband, wife, father, and mother? Do you even know? Wouldn't it be good to ask? What if he turns out to be the kind of husband and father that meets his concept? What if she turns out to be the kind of wife and mother that is like her conept?

6. Does he have inititive or drive to be a diligent worker and make a decent living? Or, will I have to help with making the living or even see that the family is supported?

7. Will she be a guide to the house, a keeper at home and handle the children as she should? Or, will I have to make the living and keep the house and handle most of the matters for the children?

8. Will he/she be dominated by his/her father, mother or parents? Will one of the parents seek to control him/her or our marriage? Many homes have been troubled because of in-law interference.

9. Will I be marrying the whole family? Certainly our attitude should be that as desribed by Ruth when she told Naomi that your people shall be my people. However, it is a legitimate question to ask of whether you will be marrying someone who has a family or will you be marrying the family. When we are married will I feel that I am married to him/her or him/her and his mother or father?

10. How will he/she treat questions that will arise when teaching and training our children? What will he/she do about letting the children go to the prom? What will he/she do about letting the children miss church services for sports or school related activities? How will he/she address the problem of modesty? Will he/she allow the children to do things that I would not want them to do?

11. Will he/she hinder my service to the Lord? Will he/she help me be more dedicated and devoted? Will I be helped to walk in the fear of God? Or, will he/she pull me back in my service?

12. Does he/she try to change in areas wherein I have talked to him/her about improving? Have we discussed problem areas and yet he/she makes no effort to improve?

13. What is his/her attitude toward children?

14. What is his/her attitude toward my role as a husband/wife and father/mother?

15. Does he/she show real love toward me? Does he/she really care about me?

16. How well does this person communicate while we are dating? Does he/she share true feelings? Does he/she clam up and not talk? Can he/she disagree without getting mad?

17. Is he/she spiritually minded? Do they show signs of being serious about spiritual matters? Or, is he/she more interested in having fun?

18. Am I assuming that I can change this person after we are married? Am I counting on seeing some serious changes in attitude and behavior after the wedding?

19. Does he/she show signs of denying self or is he/she interested in doing what he/she wants? Does he/she talk a lot about self - more than about you?

20. Is he/she quick tempered? Does he/she get mad quickly?
Perhaps there are many more questions. Surely, these will be helpful to young people as they consider dating and plans for marriage in the future.