Dealing with Others
by Donnie V. Rader
January 11, 2009

Dealing with others is not always easy. What should I say? How much should I believe of what I hear? Is there another side to the story I've been told? Am I being fair in my dealings with others? These and other questions must be answered.

When we deal with others there is always the potential for differences to arise. When those differences come it is easy to forget to use some common sense rules in our conflict. We are not always as fair in dealing with those we disagree with as we are in defending ourselves or those with whom we agree.

For some time I have been thinking about how brethren treat one another. I have thought about how many problems are simple misunderstandings. It seems to me that we are not always as careful as we ought to be. As I have thought and talked with others, some basic rules come to mind that we ought to follow.

1. Pray for wisdom (Jas. 1:5). If there is any time we need wisdom it is when we deal with those with whom we disagree. Let us pray that we may have the wisdom to know: (a) how to approach others, (b) what we should say and what we should not reveal, (c) what I should believe and what I should reject of what I hear, (d) the good that is in other people, and (e) how slow or fast I need to be in my conclusions.

2. Be careful what you say. Any of us could easily get carried away and say things that we would later wish had not been said. The proverb writer said, "He who restrains his lips is wise" (Prov. 10:19). We must be careful what we say to and about others. It may be information that others have told us in confidence. It may be that the one to whom we give the information may not honor our request to keep it confidential. Let us be "slow to speak" (Jas. 1:19) knowing that "a tale bearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter" (Prov. 11:13). We don't have to tell all we know. "A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back" (Prov. 29:11).

We must be careful how we choose our words. Let's make sure we are conveying the right idea. If we are not cautious, our words can be like the "piercing of a sword" (Prov. 12:18). We must watch what we say and how we say it. Remember, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" (Prov. 15:1).

Let us also be careful lest we say something detrimental to others. "The hypocrite with his mouth destroys his neighbor" (Prov. 11:9; cf. v. 13; 20:19). It is possible that I could be telling things about others when I don't have all the facts. What I say could destroy the name and reputation of others.

3. There are two sides to the story. In some situations there is some fault on both sides. Thus, both of the parties at odds have some legitimate points. However, there are some situations where the two sides are the right side and the wrong side. Still, there are two sides.

The questions I must ask myself are: Am I listening to and believing the wrong side? Am I taking the wrong side? Have I considered the other side of the story? There may be more that I need to know before I draw my conclusions and state them. The proverb writers said, "The first one to plead his cause seems right, until his neighbor comes and examines him" (Prov. 18:17). Whoever tells his side first makes it sound good.

4. Don't jump to conclusions. Too often we take a little information and fill in more gaps than are there. We can easily assume motives that we have no way of knowing. I wonder how often our talk and criticism about others would change if we deleted everything but the real facts that we know.
The proverb writer warned, "He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him" (Prov. 18:13). Let us not be hasty in our words (Prov. 29:20).
5. Give others the benefit of the doubt. Love "believes all things" (1 Cor. 13). It gives a person the benefit of the doubt. That means when a questionable situation arises where you could put more than one construction on it, believe the best. When a problem arises and you can put either a good or bad motive on it -- believe the best. After all, don't you want others to do that with you (Matt. 7:12)?
Yes, these rules are simple. But, with a little application we can avoid a lot of friction and misunderstanding.

Theories of Men Answered in Genesis 1
by: John Isaac Edwards

The Bible often contradicts the conceptions and proposed explanations of men. Observe five theories of men answered in the first chapter of the Bible.

The Big Bang Theory. "Scientists generally agree that 'the Big Bang' birthed the universe about 15 billion years ago. Out of this event — at a temperature of nearly a trillion degrees cubed — the building blocks of nature formed. They gathered and spun out matter, energy, space and time, and eventually stars, planets, galaxies, and life itself" (Tom Parisi, Northern Illinois University). Given the intelligent design and order throughout the universe, do you accept an origin by chance, without any reason or purpose? "Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear" (Heb. 11:3; Gen. 1).

The Gap Theory. It is often proposed that there was a long time gap between Genesis 1:1 and Genesis 1:2. Genesis 1:1-2 grammar will not allow such a concept, and the very idea is contrary to the plain statement of Exodus 20:11, "For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth..."

The Age Theory. The view has been advanced that the days of creation in Genesis 1 are not twenty-four hour periods, but long ages of hundreds and thousands, even millions of years in length. Genesis 1 shows the days divided into "evening and morning" (Gen. 1:5). Plants were made on the third day (Gen. 1:11-13), and the sun did not appear until the fourth day (Gen. 1:14-19). Could plants have survived for millions of years without sunlight? Genesis 1:14 distinguishes days from years. If a day is years, what are years? The same language used in Genesis 1 (first day, second day, etc.) is found in Numbers 7 (with reference to the offerings of the princes for the dedicating of the altar). Were the days of Numbers 7 ages or twenty-four hour periods? Still think Genesis 1 days were ages? Read Exodus 20:9-11.

The Evolution Theory. Evolution is a theory that the various types of animals and plants have their origin in other pre-existing types and that the distinguishable differences are due to modifications in successive generations. Genesis 1 affirms the law of reproduction according to species—after their kind (Gen. 1:11-12, 20-21, 24-25). Apple seed produces apples. Cats give birth to cats. The fact that God's creative work was "finished" eliminates any evolutionary development of new species (Gen. 2:1). Genesis also shows early man as an intelligent and highly skilled being. He did not mutter like a monkey or chatter like a chimpanzee, but possessed the power of language as "Adam gave names to all cattle..." (Gen. 2:20) and carried on conversation with God.

The Oneness Godhead Theory. Oneness Pentecostal's suggest there is only one person in the Godhead—Jesus only. Genesis 1:26 records, "And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness..." The plural personal pronouns "us" and "our" require a plurality of persons. The Bible reveals three persons (the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit) involved in the creation (Gen. 1:1-2; Job 33:4; Jn. 1:1-3; Col. 1:15-17; Heb. 1:2).
"...let God be true, but every man a liar..." (Rom. 3:4).

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